no, "ma'am"

on new year's day, when i was at target surveying the shelves upon shelves of discount christmas merchandise, a college-aged trim blond let out an "excuse me ma'am" as she walked past in front of me. this isn't the first time i've been monikered "ma'am" by strangers, but never by people who're younger than me, so the remark especially stung for two reasons.

first, i obviously was disgruntled that she failed to recognize that I was still in my twenties, single, with no kids. i know this reason is shallow, has no merit, shouldn’t register on my righteous indignation meter, and should bear no mention. but even the best of us from time to time, will fall prey to vanity, so you can imagine how it is for those of us, like me, who only attempt to achieve mediocrity of character.

neither my age, place in life, nor dress warranted a "ma'am". well, now looking back, i made the mistake of wearing baby janes with oh-so noticeable white socks, which rendered me a bit matronly. i didn’t have the time to prim, prep, style, and accessorize because i hadn’t intended to spend the day outdoors. in fact, i had set aside the day for catching up on the backlog of work resulting from my freewheeling non-productivity the week before christmas. but i happened to notice target.com had some shoe and apparel items at 75% off the night before. not knowing my size, i decided to head out to my local target to try on some of the sale brands. by the time i finished browsing through target.com, it was already 4 a.m., and i figured i had to get the online transactions closed out asap for fear my size would get bought out. so i set my alarm for 7:45 a.m. (15 minutes before store opening time), but snoozed another hour, waking up around 9 a.m. i flew out the house kicking on the most easily accessible shoes, my slip-on red baby janes.

lesson learned: don’t wear socks with baby janes.

on the other hand, and more sobering and less rational, was the juxtaposition of the imbalance of life options between us. it was a slap in the face that she cemented this divide with “ma’am”.

lesson learned and relearned and will need to be relearned until it becomes second nature: as the french would say, “il faut cueillir la fleur quand elle est prête à être cueillie” or more familiarly here in the States, “seize the day”.